Day 29 – Stories of COVID-19 and Sheltering-In-Place

Monday, April 13, 2020 – Live to Blog from Under a Thunderstorm Warning

The Monday Morning Dog Walking Controversy

Keeping Social Separation
#alonetogether

We awakened this morning to thunderstorms and tornado watches throughout the day. At 4:00 AM we had a very heavy rain that awakened me. I went to the deck to check on Bert and Ernie and to make sure the wind was not blowing them about too hard (they were fine, by the way). At 6:00 AM, when the alarm went off, it was still raining very steadily. Clemencia looked out the window and started our conversation.

  • Clemencia: Are you going to take the Girls out in the rain or will you wait to see if it stops?
  • Me: I don’t think it is supposed to stop all day so I better just…HEY, wait a minute! It’s your job to take the Girls out! Remember?
  • Clemencia: Yes, but it’s Monday.
  • Me: Yeah, it’s Monday. So?
  • Clemencia: So you take the Girls out on Monday mornings.
  • Me: What? Since when? We just decided you were walking the dogs in the morning so I could get right to work.
  • Clemencia: That’s right, mi cielo. We did. And we decided you’d take the Girls out on Mondays.
  • Me: Oh, sure! Only the Mondays when it is raining and storming, right?
  • Clemencia: No. Every Monday. Including this one.
  • Me: What? Why?
  • Clemencia: Because I start my first online Spanish class on Mondays at 9:00 AM. We talked about it. You agreed to take them out on Monday mornings so I wouldn’t feel so rushed to get prepared.
  • Me: No, that’s not correct, mi amor. I’m so sorry. But remember you were annoyed that I took them out once last week and you insisted it was your job…each day…every day…rain or shine.
  • Clemencia: That’s correct, mi corazon. Except for Mondays. We talked about it and we agreed.
  • Me: I don’t agree and I don’t agree that we talked about it.
  • Clemencia (smiling sweetly): Yes we did. It is right here…in my calendar.

As I stood in the pouring rain waiting for the Girls to do their doodies I began to think about how I could get a look at that calendar. I hate that calendar!


Pardon the Interruption for…

“Truth Be Told” with Winthrop Dijkstra-Baum, public radio’s voice of integrity. This is a new segment in Tom’s blog starring me, Winthrop Dijkstra-Baum. It appears only when needed because Tom is being less than honest. “Truth Be Told” is dedicated to correcting the record whenever Tom feels it is in his best interest to stretch the truth a bit in his stories, especially where Clemencia is involved. Remember, there is always the story as he tells it and the story as it really is. “Truth Be Told” is my eyewitness account of the conversations he has with Clemencia.

In this case, he agreed, last week when they discussed it, to not only take the Girls out for a walk each and every Monday morning but any time it was raining, snowing, blowing, or below 40 degrees fahrenheit because Clemencia is a “tropical girl” who, after nearly 35 years in the Northern Hemisphere, is still not used to cold temperatures.

That’s the truth…and you can count on it because you can count on me, Winthrop Dijkstra Baum. I’m now returning you to Tom’s drivel.


Actual Humor

I’ve been doing this blog series as a diversion for myself and for anyone else who wants to ride along. My recipe is simple.

  • 1/4 Cup Attempted Humor
  • 1/4 Cup Personal Stories (at least inspired by true events)
  • 1/4 Cup Truth (see above)
  • 1/4 Cup Rant (though I try to make them coherent and rational)

All of this adds up to a whole cup of drivel, of course. But that’s the way it is today in the time of COVID-19. It is the drivel that sometimes helps us get through.

Some folks…but not me…have been at home long enough that they are beginning to go a bit off the rails.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I felt a bit sorry for her but went back into our house, told our dogs anyway…and we had a good laugh.

About three years ago I saw a sketch on Saturday Night Live that made me laugh until I cried. I know…that is not often the case with SNL sketches, right? It may also be because, as I get older, this one had a certain ring of truth about it and so the only choice was to laugh or cry.


Back to Reality…

Used by Permission – Copyright 2020 Dave Granlund.com and Political Carttons.com

Stay safe, be well, keep calm, keep washing your hands, keep wearing your mask, and keep pressing for truth.

Tom

4 thoughts on “Day 29 – Stories of COVID-19 and Sheltering-In-Place”

  1. Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down!
    Actually I’ve just been talking about thi with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.
    I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything.
    Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.
    In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing.
    The hoover was very unsympathetic…told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over!
    The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.
    The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to …..yes, you guessed it…..pull myself together.

  2. Not sure if it’s any consolation Tom, but there are times when I hear-wel, I told we, we talked about it; and my response is-well, where was I during this conversation. You have to get my attention before you talk to me.

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